DEFEAT OF THE COLONISTS

This is an AU based on the second-season episode entitled "The Colonists."

            In this alternate universe, when Robinson and West attacked Noble Niolani's male slaves, West refrained from carrying his attack to the projector which Will and the Robot had referred to as "unknockable." Instead, he and Robinson confined their attacks to the humanoids, and defeated every one of them.

            In this universe, just as in ours, Smith sat on Niolani's cushions, frantically, defensively holding a pillow pressed against his face as the mayhem raged around him.

            Now triumphant, Robinson and West regarded the quivering, "hiding" Smith ruefully and with amusement.

            "You can relax, Smith; it's over," Robinson informed their cowardly shipmate.

            "Are you sure?" Smith peered fearfully over the top of the pillow, still keeping most of his face covered.

            "Yes, Smith," West agreed with a sigh. "You can come out from under there."

            "You're safe from the aliens," Robinson assured him.

            "You got them all?!"

            "We did."

            "But...am I safe from you two??"

            "Us??!"

            "You're not in some sort of 'fighting frenzy,' and still ready to go at it with anyone available???"

            "Don't be silly."

            Smith lowered the pillow a bit more. "And you're not going to...punish me for being briefly betrothed to Niolani??"

            "Well now I hadn't thought of that." West tried to suppress a smile.

            "I suppose not." Robinson's reply was deadpan.

            Smith lowered the pillow the rest of the way, chanced to glance to his right, and gasped in shock. "Niolani!!!"

            She lay unconscious, bruised, and bloodied.

            His eyes returned to his two space-faring companions, aghast. "You beat her, too?!!"

            West told him, "Well now, remember what I said when we first got here: any woman who acts like a barbarian gets treated like one."

            "And you did this to her??!" he demanded in horror.

            "Actually, I did," Robinson informed him. "Don was still busy finishing off the last male guard."

            Smith merely stared in horror at both of them.

            West presented an unsavory grin. "So, Smith, if you'd like to take us on, in defense of your fiancée, we'll be happy to accommodate you."

            "Nooo!!!" Smith cried in terror, ducking behind his pillow once again.

            "Don was just joking," Robinson said with a mild chuckle.

            "Actually, my offer was serious," corrected West. "If, indeed, he'd like to, we're ready."

            Smith cried out, and then continued groaning behind the pillow.

            Losing patience, Robinson said, "Come on, Smith, decide. We need to go find Maureen and the girls. Are you going with us?"

            Once again peering from above the pillow, Smith inquired meekly, "Can I keep the pillow?"

            "We're not going to hit you." Robinson's patience had thinned further.

            Timidly, Smith rose from Niolani's couch, still clutching the pillow, which was now blocking his midsection instead.

            Trying not to laugh, West shook his head at the older man.